Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第八集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（如果你能读这句文字）（表示你距离萤幕太远）（吃吧!单身狗粮）（现推出口味!）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（集体催眠时间）（单身狗粮）（老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥）舰长日志,星历是全国甜甜圈日Captain'slog,Stardate,NationalDonutDay.我们正遭到一艘由固体火焰制成的太空船攻击We'reunderattackfromashipmadeofsolidfire.所有武器的攻击都会彻底穿过那艘火船Allweaponssimplypassthroughandcomeouttheotherend.就像我曾误以为是薄荷糖的滚珠轴承1.ikethatballbearingIoncemistookforamint.这是个难题,基夫请拿出我的移♥动♥浴缸It,saconundrum,Kif.Prayfetchmytraveltub.我在淋浴时才能好好思考Idomybestthinkingintheshower.?Yababum?Yababumbumbum?能请你至少拉上浴帘吗?长官Couldyouatleastclosethecurtain,sir?好的Certainly.克洛克中尉你指望我不用菜瓜布就能思考吗？1.ieutenantKroker!Youexpectmetothinkwithoutaloofah?我的菜瓜布在哪？-什么菜瓜布？Where'smyloofah?-Whatloofah?你啊,你就是菜瓜布You!You,retheloofah.你能安静点吗？Willyoubequiet?我在努力思考mtryingtothink!水!火的天敌Ah-ha!Water!Fire,smortalenemy!中尉,水攻1.ieutenant,firewater.（水炮）（雨云号♥）（行星民♥主♥秩序水枪）搞什么谁把水用光了？Whatthe?Whousedupallthewater?你冲个澡就把太空船的三年供水量用光了,长官Yourshowerdepletedtheship'sthree-yearsupply,sir.别担心Well,noworries.我只要说一句话就能结束这场战役Icanendthisbattlewithtwowords.我们投降"Wesurrender.*'签下这份战败证明这样我就可以拿给我妈妈看Signthiscertificateofdefeat,soIcanshowmymom.基夫,书桌Kif,mydesk.就亲笔签下杳普lljustputtheoldZappHancockonit.充满自信地签下最后一笔画BigconfidentdotontheI.（查普布宁根）你比我想得还多汁,基夫Oh-ho.You'rejuicierthanIthought,Kif.我真是受够了Ihavehadit!我受够你的恶行了mthroughputtingupwithyour.（inhales）crap!我要提出正式申诉mfilingaformalcomplaint!是提出表扬It,spronouncedcompliment.现在我很荣幸颁发Andnow,Iamproudtopresent本月唯一优秀员工奖themonthlyOnlyGoodEmployeeoftheMonthAward.（恭喜莉拉!）本月的获奖者格外卓越Thismonth'srecipienthasthespecialdistinction因为每个月都获奖ofalsohavingwontheawardeverypreviousmonth.你们觉得是我吗？Doyouthinkit'sme?（月度优秀员工榜）（本月唯一优秀员工）恭喜！Congratulations!很好,莉拉Welldone,Leela.你在萧条、前途无望的You'vereachedthepinnacleofsuccess物流业中达到了成功的巅峰inthestagnant,dead-enddeliverybusiness.你真是触到天花板了You'vereallyhitrocktop!谢谢大家Thanks,everybody.这是梦想成真It'sadreamcometrue.一个我无法从中醒来的循环梦Arecurringdream.ThatIcan'twakeupfrom.谁想吃蛋糕?还剩一片,我要吃掉了Whowantscake7There,sonehandfulleft.llhaveit.（行星民♥主♥秩序）（向下瞄准-抢先射击）我宣布纪律听证会正式开始Icallthisdisciplinaryhearingtoorder.布宁根舰长克洛克中尉提出了一些严肃CaptainBrannigan,LieutenantKrokerhasmadesomeserious,但令人莞尔的指控thoughsomewhatamusing,allegations.你有律师吗？Doyouhavecounsel?我就是Isay,Isay,present!克洛克中尉,你有律师吗？1.ieutenantKroker,doyouhavecounsel?有！yes你在这案子中代表双方？You'rerepresentingbothsidesinthiscase?鞠躬尽瘁,庭上Tillmywingsgiveout,YourHonor.我批准mgoingtoallowthis.克洛克先生,请描述一下你在我另一个Now,Mr.Krokenpleasedescribethehorrifictreatmentyouendured无辜的当事人那里所遭受的可怕待遇atthehandsofmyinnocentotherclientthere.他在公共场所淋浴还把我当菜瓜布擦他的腋窝Hetookapublicshowerandusedmetoscrubhisarmpit.我只是在闹着玩Itwasajoke.当时大家都笑了,除了基夫1.iterallyeveryonewaslaughingexceptKiE他坚持要跟我说他对我妻子的幻想Heinsistedontellingmehisfantasiesaboutmywife!那只不过是更衣室里的打屁Thatwasjustlockerroomtalk.他曾把脸涂绿Heworegreenface!那是为了万圣节装扮ItwasaHalloweencostume.他要我看他拿着乒乓球拍Hemademewatchhimperformaneroticfandance鸡鸡套着隐形袜表演色情扇子舞withaping-pongpaddleandano-showsock.在那个年代很正常Itwasadifferenttime!那是昨天才刚发生的事Itwasyesterday!所以你承认了？Soyouadmitit!庭上,我做出判决了YourHonor,Ihavereachedaverdict.我判定我的当事人查普布宁根有罪Ifindmyclient,ZappBrannigan,guilty.我批准mgoingtoallowthis.布宁根舰长,本组织绝不允许CaptainBrannigan,thereisnoroominthisorganization霸凌和骚扰forbullyingandharassment.你的恶劣行为不能Youregregiousbehaviorcannot-你为何在帮我按♥摩♥?Whyareyoumassagingme?你看起来很紧绷,而且你应该多微笑Youjustseemsotense.你微笑时更美Also,youshouldsmilemore.You'reprettierwhenyousmile.看吧滋样对每个人都更好See?It'sjustnicerforeveryone.因此本席判决你面临终极刑罚Itisthereforethiscourtsjudgmentthatyoufacetheultimatepenalty.跟超过35岁的女人约会？Datingawomanover35?查普布宁根,特此通知你被放逐ZappBrannigan,youarehereby.canceled.这是第二严重的惩罚Thesecond-worstpunishment.你在接受强制敏感度训练期间Youwillbestrippedofyourtitle将被撤销头衔whileyouundergomandatorysensitivitytraining.在你被放逐期间,你应该佩戴红字母CAndforthedurationofyourcancellation,youshallweartheScarletC.我反对这种无聊琐碎的指控Iobjecttothesefrivolous,paltrycharges.无聊的家禽?你这是在污辱我,先生Frivolouspoultry7Youinsultme,sir!（机器人臂公♥寓♥）（隐形眼镜鱼洁剂）（行星民♥主♥秩序）是谁?便便？Whoisit?Poop?图兰嘉莉拉舰长CaptainTurangaLeela,你有应征行星民♥主♥秩序飞彳j员？youputinanapplicationtobeaDOOPpilot?对次概一小时前吧Uh,yeah.Likeanhourago.你被录取了！You'rehired.雨云号♥舰长？CaptainoftheNimbus!所以你要当基夫的长官？Soyou'regonnabeKifscommandinglobster?不是吧？Negative.Right?是的Affirmative.我在请家事假这样就可以让我喜欢的人颐指气使mtakingsomefamilyleave,so1cangetbossedaroundbysomeoneIlike.臭臭需要换尿布Psst.Stinkyneedschanging.但行星民♥主♥秩序确实授权我带两名值得信赖的机组员一起去ButtheDOOPdidauthorizemetobringalongtwotrustedcrewmembers.一名大副,要能大胆做出指挥决策那就是弗莱Afirstofficer,which,inaboldcommanddecision,willbeFry.谢谢,亲爱的Aw,thanks,honey.我是说亲爱的舰长,长官Imean,CaptainHoney.Sir.还有一名科技总监AndaChiefScienceOfficer.教授Professor班德我谦逊地接受这富有声望的职位I,Bender,humblyacceptthisprestigiousappointment.而