Animal Control《动物管制官（2023）》第二季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

嗯所以有只树懒爬到号♥墙上去了Yeah,sosloth,sclimbingupWallThree,我们最受欢迎的一堵攀岩墙oneofourmostpopularclimbs.他啥时候开始往上爬的上周吗Whendidhestarthisascent,lastweek?这里Overhere.就在上面Upthere.昨天这有小孩开了生日派对Wehadakid'sbirthdaypartyyesterday.爱宠乐园那家伙肯定是忘了他了Ithinkthepettingzooguymusthaveforgottenhim.噢他们有带大型宠物来吗我们经常接到这样的报♥警♥Oh,didtheyuseHeavyPetters?Wegetalotofcalls.他们统计动物数目挺马虎的Realsloppywiththeirheadcount.噢这小家伙在动呢Oh,littledude,sonthemove.他还怪得意的呢He,sgettingcocky.施莱德给我穿上护具Shred,strapmein.弗兰克我想再问你一遍Frank,letmeflagthisonemoretime.你确定不想让我爬上去吗Areyousureyoudon'twantmetoclimb?施莱德看这小家伙Shred,lookathim.我只是担心你因为他太可爱rmjustworriedaboutyouoverdosingoncuteness就失去你的理智了看我的吧andlosingallyourfaculties.1gotthis.快点弗兰克他看起来要抓不住了Hurry,Frank!Ithinkhe,slosinghisgrip!嗯哼你就只会看戏吧Mmhmm.Theyellinghelps.嘿伙计我叫弗兰克没事的Hi,buddy.mFrank.It'sok.对就这样过来慢慢的Yeah,comeonoverhereniceandeasy.噢好吧呃Oh,alright.Well,um.他喜欢那个夹子弗兰克Helikestheclip,Frank.噢看啊它亮晶晶的Oh,look.It'sshiny.好吧Ok,ok.不不不不要啊No,no,no,no,no!你没事吧Areyouok?噢没事没事Oh,yeah,yeah.手♥机♥钥匙给我缓冲了一下Thephoneandkeysbrokemyfall.你在傻笑着看啥呢Whatareyougigglingat?特蕾莎Teresa.她给我发了一段她被海浪拍倒的视频Shesentmeavideoofhergettingknockedoverbyawave.挺会自嘲的She'sveryself-deprecating.特蕾莎是谁Who'sTeresa?和我互发短♥信♥的其中一位女人Oneofthewomenmtextingwith.其中一位Oneofthewomen?是啊我用了几款约会软件Yeah.Ijoinedacoupleofthosedatingapps可能是因为我发了一张andmaybeit's'causeIpostedapicture我和长颈鹿宝宝的照片吧ofmewithababygiraffe我可收到好多私信啊butmgettingalotofmessages.我怎么感觉就一周前你还因为艾米丽心碎的不行Ifeellikeitwasjustaweekagoyouweresoheartbroken连法式吐司条都没吃完啊overEmilyyoucouldn'tfinishyourFrenchtoaststicks.我受够沉溺悲伤了弗兰克我受够了mdonewallowing,Frank.mdonewithit.人来到这世上可不是来沉溺于悲伤中的ManWaSnotputonthisearthtowallow.嘿如果你和某人聊的火热朝天Hey,ifyouhadadazzlingtextrapportwithsomeone你愿意为这个跑一趟班布里奇岛不wouldyoubewillingtotraveltoBainbridgeIsland?是挺远的我还得乘轮渡去呢It,salongwayaway,Ihavetotakeaferry,但我感觉这代表了些什么butIthinkitmakesastatement.要我说这对她是个很好的机会Well,it'sabigopportunityforhertomeet能见到这世上最折磨人的人了themostexhaustingpersonontheplanet.22分区最新领养信息Precinct22adoptionupdate:我们刚给山羊找到了新家wejustfoundahomeforthegoat,这一来这季度共有68只宠物被领养了sothatmakes68petsthisquarter.vna我们的狗舍正式空了Ourkennelsareofficiallyempty.好i矣Alright.恭喜啊Congratulations.邓普顿那破分区现在有几只啊HowmanydidTempleton'sbrokeassprecincthave?截止今天早上75只Asofthismorning,75.等等那我们没机会羸乒乓球桌了吗Wait,sowedon'thaveachanceatthepingpongtable?只剩两天了There'sonlytwodaysleft.那你为什么说这是场胜利啊Whydidyoupresentthisasawin?呃我们排西雅图所有分区的第二Ok,wellwe'resecondinallofSeattle我们能赢到披萨午餐sowe'regoingtogetthepizzalunch.但我不想赢披萨午餐ButIdon'twantthepizzalunch.我想赢球桌啊Iwantthetable.行了这一切的重点不在了赢Alright,wellit'snotaboutwinning,而在于动物福利it'sabouttheanimals'well-being.噢你觉得动物会想让邓普顿赢吗Oh,youthinktheanimalswantTempletontowin?错了他们想要公平公正No,theywantjustice,公平就是让我赢了那个球桌andjusticeismewinningthattable.我是说我们这个集体我就想要打乒乓嘛1meanus,thecollectiveme.1justwannaplaypingpong!好了我挂了弗兰克Ok,bye,Frank,感谢致电Thankyouforcontacting美国公民及移♥民♥服务局USCitizenshipandImmigrationServices.下一位有空的客服会接通您的拨话Yourcallwillbeansweredbythenextavailableagent.我知道了你已经跟我说了不下700次了Yes,Iknow,becauseyou'vetoldme700times.别哼Don't.好的一你敢Gotcha.-Don'tyoudare.我不喜欢听这部分-别哼了1don'tlikethispart.-Stop.这是法国号♥角吹的吗IsthataFrenchhorn?所有单位注意警方在百老汇街146号♥Allunits:Policerequestingback-up请求增援at146Broadway.就是法国号♥角嘛8号♥车响应出警It,saFrenchhorn.Truck8responding.感谢致电Thankyouforcontacting美国公民及移♥民♥服务局USCitizenshipandImmigrationServices.这简直折磨死人了我就想要张绿卡Thisistorture!Ijustneedagreencard!为什么要为难我Whyareyoumakingthissodifficult?别哼Don't.嘿跳蚤和婢虫警官Hey,officersFleaandTick.天啊你还真会开玩笑Ohmygod,youaresofunny.看来即兴表演课卓有成效啊吉米Thoseimprovclassesarereallypayingoff,Jimmy.这里什么情况What,vewegot?有个囤积狂孤独终老了留下很多烤面包机Hoarderdiedallalone.Alotoftoasters.还有很多猫Alotofcats.多少只Howmanycats?天我也不知道啊大概400只吧1don'tknow,man.1.ike400?他们到处乱跑根本没法好好数完Theywouldn'tstaystillforaheadcount.他们都需要新家They'reallgonnaneedhomes.你猜什么东西也需要新家乒乓球桌Youknowwhatelseneedsahome?Thatpingpongtable.击掌施莱德Uptop,Shred.好嘲Yep.好了我们进屋吧Alright,let'sgo,guys.嗨Hi.这地方让我有点毛骨悚然啊Ewww,thisplacefreaksmeout.是啊我也不想自吹自播哈但是这地方Yeah,Idon'twannatootmyownhornbutthisisexactly和我想象中囤积狂的家的味道一模样whatIthoughtahoarder'shousewouldsmelllike.典型的弗兰克式吹牛没法验证你说的ClassicFrankboast.Nowaytoverifyit.闻闻你就知道了Justbreathein.别这样吓人Don'tdothat!抱歉Sorry.谁会把一个没头的人体模特放在走廊里啊老兄Whokeepsaheadlessmannequininahallway,dude?什么What?其他房♥间还有好多装满尿的子呢Therearedozensofjarsofurineintheotherroom你居然能被这玩意儿吓到andthisgivesyoupause?伙计们根据这小册子说Guys,rememberthathoardingisadisease爱囤积东西是种疾病这小册子也是我accordingtothispamphletIfound在一堆讲囤积狂的小册子里找到的inapileofpamphletsabouthoarding.这一点也不好玩Thatisnotcool!老兄Dude.干什么就因为有个老太在这屋里死了What?Just'causeanoldladydiedheredoesn'tmean不代表我们不能开点玩笑了嘛Wecan'thavealittlefun.有人